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If your vagina is burning or itching or feels any sort of bad thing during or after sex, talk to your doctor, especially if the sensation quickly doesn't go away on its own or gets worse over time. Tammelleo says this is especially important the first time you have sex with a new partner. The only way to find out is to ask them: Do they like oral sex, or would they rather leave that off the menu? At one point or another, I promise you that everyone has felt the way you do—and your feelings are completely normal, valid, and fair. Lube is an absolute must-have more on that later , but if that doesn't help get things running smoothly, you should consult your doctor or a gynecologist to see if you may have a condition called vaginismus , which makes it really hard for anything to enter the vagina. The incorrect, pretty problematic myth that everyone with a vagina bleeds the first time they have penetrative sex is, as is turns out, very much not true! They should take that as their cue to be even more communicative with you. Not only does asking questions show your partner that you care, but it may also encourage them to do the same—making the whole experience better for everyone. Sign up for our sex newsletter ASAP.

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